Women and the Priesthood

I came of age during the famous ERA years in American politics. During my freshman year at BYU there were frequent political cartoons in local newspapers depicting the conflicts women and especially LDS women faced. I saved a few in my journal. One showed a woman with a flat tire who had just left an ERA rally taking off her rally button before asking a man to stop to change her tire for her. Another showed women protesting outside a session of LDS General Conference, and the caption read: "Mormons for ERA: A Non-Prophet Organization".

Of course the Equal Rights Amendment didn't pass. I'm glad it didn't. But what I didn't know then, that I do know now, is women half a generation before me needed some problems addressed. It was not unheard of for a woman to be refused a temple recommend if she used artificial birth control, even when fertility strained her health and her marriage almost to the breaking point. It was rare for women then to have much of a public voice in meetings that included both women and men. Sometimes women felt ignored in church matters. My own mother tells of crying herself to sleep at night while my father was in many positions of responsibility in the church and she herself had five different church callings and half a dozen children. She was exhausted and no one was listening, including my father. By contrast, I remember some years later, when my father was called as a stake president, my mother was invited to be part of all the organizational meetings as his new stake presidency was organized. By then, her voice and her partnership were valued assets in church governance.

I appreciate these cultural advances that make women more influential in church government and more balanced at home. I appreciate more, though, the fact that doctrinal elements didn't change. Priesthood authority is a man's grace. It helps men become like the Savior.

I left my father's home at seventeen, and since then, sadly, have little good experience with priesthood in my family. Within a ward family, though, priesthood power has guided my most significant decisions and fueled my spiritual, financial, intellectual and emotional growth. Beginning when I was a student in the dorms, a good bishop recognized my willingness to serve--and my immaturity. As an eighteen-year-old Relief Society president I didn't even know that a girl in one apartment next to me was pregnant and a girl on the other side was suffering with bulimia. I think the bishop's wife took care of most of the welfare issues. But I organized Sunday meetings and homemaking meetings, visiting teaching and parties. I learned a lot. I felt inspiration and love. Under the direction of the Priesthood, I was part of the Savior's ministry.

Many years and many ward callings later, it was a bishop who mentored me through a sacred period of spiritual understanding. I was a Primary president at the time, serving on his ward council. During one Sunday council meeting he introduced a new plan. The ward council would go to the temple together every Tuesday morning, meeting at the 5:00 a.m. session. Other ward members were invited, of course, but we were pretty much required to go. He suggested we have an early family home evening Monday night and all go to bed with the temple in mind. A peaceful, early night would make a 4:00 a.m. wake-up time easy. He'd been doing it for a long time.

I went purely to be obedient to my bishop's counsel. I didn't have an early or a peaceful night. I had four children, the youngest were preschoolers and the oldest a young teenager. My marriage was in chaos, and my husband was always angry. Getting up at 4:00 a.m. was not fun or easy. But I did it. And I continued to go. Within a few weeks, I understood the urgency behind our bishop's directive. Frequent temple attendance brought sweet miracles into my life. Soon each Tuesday morning felt like Christmas and the heavens were filled with singing angels.

During this period, the contention at home became more severe. I loved my Primary calling but knew I could no longer serve and take care of family matters. I called my dear bishop to explain, only to have him say, "I've known for three weeks that I need to release you. I've just been trying to figure out how to tell you." Later this bishop was instrumental in helping me follow the inspiration I had received to divorce. This kind priesthood holder was a savior to me.

Divorce, however, brought financial challenges. I hadn't had a paying job in nearly fifteen years. My former husband was suddenly out of work. It was another church event, an employment seminar, that guided my decision to return to school to do graduate studies, take out student loans, and become marketable. Through the work of the Priesthood I was on my feet again, becoming financially stronger and intellectually better. The Savior cares about our growth in all these areas.

It is hard to write about current and recent priesthood leaders. My feelings are tender, and the goals we are working on are still in progress. I have a home teacher who has embraced my family's needs now for almost eight years. Every fall he gives blessings to each one of us as we begin a new school year. We work hard to follow his counsel, and because of his blessings we are healthier and happier. I've listened to three bishops in these nearly eight years, each one loving and guiding our family. Our current bishop inspires me to be good and kind; his gentle example of love and service reminds me always of the Savior. I want to be more like both of them.

There are women who suggest that priesthood leadership is domineering and demeaning. That women's growth is limited by male control. Culturally, there are occasions where this is sadly true. Men in my own life have been all of these things. However, these women misunderstand. Priesthood is not the problem with men. Priesthood is their solution.