Consuelo

A few weeks ago, my mother unearthed a little poem I'd written a long time ago about the role of women. The text was taken from the Doctrine and Covenants, a collection of scriptural writings compiled mostly by Joseph Smith during the early days of our church. This particular writing was given to his wife Emma, who assisted him in teaching and ministering, and for a short time wrote for him while he was dictating the Book of Mormon. I wrote the poem at my mother's request, for a church hymn. Now she is matching these old words to a new song, a beautiful melody accompanied by sparkling arpeggio chords, a piano piece that would be perfect even without a solo voice above it.

Looking at the words after such a long time reminded me of the first time I really thought about womanly gifts. I was dating a guy who was preparing to be an LDS missionary, and he was thinking about my place in his life for the next two years. We talked often about the unique gifts of women, and after thinking of beautifying and nurturing, we came upon the concept of comfort. He wanted a woman to be his comfort, most of all. He left for his mission to Peru and sent me a necklace spelling the word "consuelo", the Spanish word for "comfort" to remind me of his love and my vow. For 23 months I wrote at least weekly, supporting him as best I knew how. In the end, though, I married someone else and wasn't comforting at all! He did get over it. I still have the necklace.

These days I live a dozen roles. I am a provider, a mother, a daughter, a friend. I hope I am a comfort. The words I wrote are simple, and they beg a third and fourth verse. So far, the words are these:

To Emma Smith was given
Sweet counsel from the Lord
Designed to help all women
Who love His gracious word.
A woman's role is gentle,
To comfort and console,
For meekness is her mantle;
Compassion makes her whole.

Through spirit-guided learning,
His scriptures to expound
She gains pure understanding--
Truth's saving notes resound!
With blessings past comparing,
To covenants she must cleave:
She seeks the joyous crowning
The righteous shall receive.

As I look at these words today, I realize that at age 19 I never directed the conversation the other way. What is a man's primary role? I never asked the question back! It wasn't until I read Twilight and fell in love with the Edward I created in my head (while disdaining Bella for her passivity!) that I discovered the idea of protection. Edward protects Bella perfectly--day and night, near and far, from without and within. I read with new gratitude about the 2000 stripling warriors in the Book of Mormon who protected their families, and I am tenderly grateful for those who protect mine. From Alma 53:

"they entered into a covenant to fight for the liberty of the Nephites, yea, to protect the land unto the laying down of their lives; yea, even they covenanted that they never would give up their liberty, but they would fight in all cases to protect the Nephites and themselves from bondage."

The roles are not exclusive; men comfort beautifully, and a good woman protects her man fiercely. But there is something lovely about a woman who recognizes the softness of her gender and follows Joseph Smith's counsel. Emma probably needed it. I know I do.